Adieu Trump

This is my account of what took place on January 6th 2021 at the steps of Capitol Hill. I cannot tell you why thousands of people took time off of their work and drove or flew to Washington DC, but I can tell you why I did it.

The past few months have embodied the epitome of confusion in my life, and I suspect in the lives of many. A global pandemic, 5G rollout, Q-Anon, child trafficking, adrenochrome harvesting, the Great Reset, Pizza Gate, Satanic Illuminati Agenda, George Soros, Bill Gates, Dominion Machines, Global and Centralized Currency… The amount of information available at our fingertips is infinite. Undoubtedly, falling down that rabbit hole can be ruinous if one is unable to detach from it and discern what’s real and what’s not. As for the mainstream media, I’ve watched it spin events and take words out of context countless times. People have truly lost faith in it, including myself.

I contemplated showing up on January 6th for a while. Even on the day I was to drive to DC, I questioned my motive. Was it for my country? Was it for my president? Was it to fulfill that dream vision I had of me protesting weeks ago? Was it to overcome fear and actually adhere to my declarations? Was it to prove my bravery and patriotism? Or was I too bored and needed an adventure? It was all of the above. Mostly, it was for the truth. I craved facts and reality. I needed to be there when it was all revealed. If history were to be made that day, I wanted to be part of it.

When I arrived to DC at one in the morning, I found that all hotels were booked. As I hopped from one hotel to the other, my heart was warmed by the overpouring of kindness I received from Trump supporters. One man who was checking in offered to share his room with me. He handed me his business card, and with a charming southern accent exclaimed that he’d sleep on the floor. I thanked him and promised to call him if I was unsuccessful in finding lodging. An older and sweet couple from Tennessee also jumped to my aid. The man said, “we’re God-fearing Christians who would be happy to help! We’re in this together! Our room comes with pullup beds, you’re more than welcome to stay until tomorrow!” I expressed my greatest appreciation for their warm hospitality and went on to the next stop. Finally, on a bed, I reflected on the goodwill and friendliness of the people and thought, this is why I’m here; to meet wonderful fellow humans who share the same principles and sentiments as I do.

A few hours later, filled with excitement I took the Metro to Federal Triangle. The sense of belonging in that train was overwhelming. Everyone was headed to the same destination with the same goal. It was an incredible feeling. On the streets, the amount of people was stunning. With their red hats and American flags, they sang ‘God Bless the USA’ while walking towards the Washington Monument Grounds. They took videos and smiled at one another. Almost none of them was wearing a mask. Although I mostly kept mine on, it was inspiriting to see others be sovereign and not be afraid. These were patriots exercising their rights. They showed up for their freedom and constitutional liberties. Their faith in God and trust in their leader are so strong. A virus -or even death- wasn’t going to phase them.

My new buddy and I sifted through the crowd looking for the perfect spot to stand. Casey drove from Minnesota. Like me, he was surrounded by far-left liberals and had no one to support him. He was a welder working for a company that produced big machinery. A staunch Trump supporter originally from Texas. He was a kind agreeable gentleman who offered to keep me company since I was alone. He asked me if I believed the election was stolen. I said, how could thousands of men and women who presented affidavits all be lying?

Most people looked like regular working-class individuals. Some seemed more sophisticated than others. A lot of people resembled militaries with their big green vests and protective gear. And others looked very prepared, as if they were taken from a movie set. Like the horn-wearing man who became famous. We walked by him as he was talking about the killings of our children. He was very confident and well spoken. People gathered around him and listened. I briefly filmed him, then we continued on to the highest grounds by the Washington Monument. I wanted to capture the size of the crowd. This proved impossible as it stretched in every direction. It was massive.

When Trump finally came to speak, we stopped to listen. It was cold, dark, and wet. We had been there for more than three hours and I was getting tired. At some point during his speech, I became drained and sad. I wanted to leave. He was repeating the same words he has been saying the past couple of months. The realization that there was no truth to be revealed hit me so subtly but with such might. As soon as Trump said the words march to the capitol, my buddy turned to me and exclaimed, “did he just ask us to go to the capitol!?” Soon enough people began leaving. Everyone was walking with purpose. I needed to take a break from it all and settle, so I decided to head back to my hotel room. On our way, a lady walked by us and said that Pence tried to poison the president. At this point, I said goodbye to my buddy and hastily crossed the busy road towards the metro.

While I was in my room, I tuned in to the live house and senate sessions to see if Pence suspended the certification for a full investigation. He didn’t. Suddenly disorder and confusion took over the floor, the session went into recess and the broadcast was interrupted. I became alarmed and texted Casey asking him for an update on what was going on. He replied that people broke into the Capitol. I hesitated to return, but I reminded myself that I needed to document this event; it’s why I came. I came for the truth. I wasn’t going to watch the news for the truth. I was going to be there for the truth. I was going to see it with my own eyes. I quickly changed clothes and ran to my car heading for the Capitol.

When I was walking towards the protest, big crowds were going the opposite direction, clearly leaving the mess. As I got closer, I saw people sitting in chairs, standing on mini roof tops, climbing barriers, and going up a scaffolding that held a giant American flag. People were chanting, “Our house! Our House!” Others shouted, “fight for Trump! Fight for Trump!” “USA! USA! USA!” A group began singing the national anthem and of course I joined.

I stood on the side of the stairs and looked around. It was thrilling to be there. I had never been to a rally or a protest before. I was like a child who’s visiting an amusement park for the first time excited about new games and carnival rides. It surely beat sitting in my desk for eight hours. A woman rushed towards us claiming that she opened a door and urged us to go enter the Capitol. The few of us who were standing there looked away awkwardly as if to disassociate from her, and she continued on. Finally, my new friend found me and invited me to go up the scaffolding. It’s where I saw people breaking in. I didn’t understand why they were doing that. But I watched like everyone else, and videotaped like everyone else.

Casey asked me to follow him up the stairs to see what was going on there. At first everything seemed as it has been; people standing, filming, taking selfies, talking, a man was playing drums, when suddenly police began marching down towards everyone. They did this in unison with their shields rhythmically banging on the ground. It was quite impressive. Civilians pushed back and a bomb-like sound went off. I immediately started coughing and gasping for air. My face was burning, my eyes and nose were running, and everyone hastily retreated. Such a chaotic scene I’ve only watched in movies. I don’t know how I made it out of there, but I did. As I ran away coughing and breathing convulsively, a gentleman I made eye contact with shouted at me to remove my mask. I did, but the effects persisted for the longest 10 minutes of my life. Experiencing tear gas is something I will never forget. I was literally dying, and I wasn’t even near the smoke. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be much closer to it.

I landed on the grass as far away as possible from the Capitol building. Bombs kept going off. Every time I heard one, I went deeper and deeper into anguish. At least a dozen of tear gas bombs were fired. I realized how damned and astray we were and began sobbing. This wasn’t an amusement park. This was a war zone. As reality set in, the chaos of screams, bombs, and clashes faded and I began focusing on the voice of a preaching woman, “Jesus is our savior! He is our redeemer!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, “then where the fuck is he now?!”

My friend was looking for me and texted me to meet him near the statue of James Garfield. I couldn’t move. I sat there for awhile until a man came up to me and handed me a little brochure that read, “Where Are You Going to Spend Eternity?” I hated this title and flipped over for something better. “We must be saved” (Acts 4:12). Indeed, we must be saved. I gathered my spirit and picked up my body to meet Casey. When he saw me, he ran towards me and we embraced, like two lost souls who found each other through tragedy.

The next morning, I went back to Washington Monument Grounds. I didn’t recognize it. The space was vast and clean. It was surreal, as if nothing had happened. I thought, yesterday was a dark cloudy day, and today is a bright sunny day. The universe is signaling new beginnings. It was time to move on. I came for the truth; I got the truth. Trump lost, no evidence of fraud was presented, and I was a fool to believe it.

I’m still processing this event. Every morning, when I open my eyes and remember what I lived on Wednesday, January 6th 2021, I am appalled. Am I ashamed to have been there? Not one bit. I’m proud of the strong, caring, and beautiful woman I am. I believed information and trusted my leader. I acted with integrity and with the best of intentions. I exercised my freedom to peaceably assemble without breaking the law. I carried no arms. I trespassed no property. I killed no one. I am not a domestic terrorist. I am a patriot who loves her country and who will always stand up for her rights.

Now, I do not condone violence, nor do I wish to justify the acts of those who broke into the Capitol. I was far away to know exactly how it all unfolded. However, I do not believe that taking selfies on the senate floor, trying to find a restroom, and stealing Pelosi’s lectern are acts of domestic terrorism. Terrorism is 9/11. Domestic terrorism is the Boston Bombing. These people didn’t coordinate or plan an attack. They simply followed the words of their leader. Most importantly, they are a perfect portrayal of what happens to the mind and the ego when in a group setting.

What took place at the Capitol is a culmination of societal failures. Each one of us is responsible. The media that continues to be bias and continues to foment hate and division among us is responsible. Every single producer, distributor, and enabler of misinformation and conspiracy theories is responsible. Those who attack, call names, and belittle instead of having productive dialogue are responsible. All political actors and public representatives are responsible. And no doubt Trump is responsible.

How we move forward as a nation I do not know. What I do know is that, ultimately, we all want what’s best for our country. If we can focus on this simple truth, if we can be conscious of the words we speak, if we can act from a place of love and compassion, then maybe we can save America.